Lately I’ve been dealing with this horrible anxiety because of a situation I would prefer to put behind me and never think of again. Then again, I never thought I would have to ever think about a situation like this before either…
Before I explain let me just say I do believe a portion of this is my fault. It’s my own problem that I am creating a situation out of this, but nonetheless its annoying.
My husband works for a company with very few if anyone his age. He can’t really relate to a lot of the people, but back in January he started texting some girl from work (she is in a different state). He said he has to talk to her during the day for work related stuff and they just basically started talking about movies, etc because they are closer in age then anyone else in the company and both are in the same boat at work…now don’t get me wrong I have no problem with him talking to people at work, making new friends, etc, but the texting outside of work—not appropriate, and it wasn’t just a few texts here or there it was A LOT. He never denied talking to her, he never hid the text messages, he has always been straightforward with me and tells me everything, but it’s still weird to me. Why do you have to text a SINGLE twenty something girl outside of work when you have your family? He swears they are just friends and I believe him, but it’s still weird to me that they talk so much. He did stop the texting with her. He said he would tell her no texting outside of work and it did stop. I still don’t know her and I think it’s weird to be that close with a person from work when you are married, she’s single and she doesn’t know your wife at all. I have issues trusting people right off the bat anyway, but I don’t know her, never talked to her and her actions (even considering texting him outside of work, and doing it occasionally after he asked her not to) does not help the situation and certainly doesn’t make me trust her any. I have no idea what her intentions are, though my husband says she is 100% NOT interested in anything more than friends.
Skipping all the other details, my husband and I have talked through this more times than I care to even think about. I know he talks to her throughout the day and I don’t know why that bothers me because I used to talk to people at my work throughout the day too. I trust that he would never let it get to the more than just friends thing, but while trying to put this whole thing behind me and get back to my normal life I can’t help but think and worry about these things.
-Couples fight, we are no different, but in the past when we fought we would both go to work, relax and come home and things would be better. We just needed time to “cool off”. Now I worry that if I upset him he’s going to go to work and run to her..weird I know, but what if that happens and she becomes his consoling “friend?” Isn’t your spouse supposed to be your “best friend?”
-I worry that stuff I tell my him as my husband are going to get told to her. I know he knows when to say things and when not to say things, but I’m a worrier and I’m sorry but I think the things I tell my husband that I wouldn’t tell other people should stay between us.
-I worry that he tells her things that he doesn’t tell me and I’m his wife.
-I know they share the same interests, most friends do, or why would they be friends, but I worry that she shares MORE interests than me and him do and that will pull him away from me. I don’t want to feel like I need to compete with her.
-I don’t like how easy it is for him to talk to her during the day, when it used to be like that for me and him to talk during the day. I know we shouldn’t have been talking as much through email while working, but how is spending a good chunk of the day talking through messenger to coworkers much different?
I just stress about things I can’t control and this is just one of those things, but while I don’t feel like I truly have anything to worry about I don’t know why these things are in the back of my mind. I blame myself for these things, I really do I just wish sometimes I could explain better to him how I’m feeling because while I’ve shared with him a lot if it, I never seem to get it out right.
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