I'm every woman.....

I was never one to look in the mirror and think I was gorgeous. Infact I know I could stand to lose some weight and pay a little bit closer to the makeup I buy and try to put on. I could probably take the extra 20 minutes to do something decent to my hair every morning instead of pull it up with a hair tie. I mean seriously, do I need those extra 20 minutes of sleep? But the truth is none of these things are easy for me. Not because I’m dumb as that statement would imply, but because I’m busy. I’m caught up in more important things and I don’t have a single moment to think about anything else, but what my job is everyday. I used to care what people thought of me when I ran to the grocery store for a simple bag of powdered sugar, or when I went out with a group of friends to dinner. Don’t get me wrong I still do care about what I wear out and how I look, but now I spend more time doing the things I NEED to do, like take care of my family and work. I sit everyday at a desk for 8+ hours that definitely doesn’t call for dressy clothes and impeccable hair. I could dress up, and occasionally I will, but it’s uncalled for everyday. My life is totally different now than it was when I got married. I have two little ones I take care of, I play with, I take places….etc etc…I have school work to do, and I have a husband who I’m pretty sure married me for a reason other than the black ripped bottom yoga pants and t-shirt I wear almost daily but somehow never says anything to me about it. The best part about all of this is that I wouldn’t change a single thing about my life now and very rarely to I get jealous of other people, but I can’t deny that I don’t get frustrated and depressed with myself when I see other women who have it all….a house, a husband, kids at home, a job and STILL manage to look amazing. I can’t help but ask somedays why is my hubby still here sitting across the table eating dinner with me….did he not see the baby puke on my shoulder and the one eye that I forgot to put mascara on, not to mention the nasty mess of hair on my head that is going on 2 days of dry shampoo use!

This whole subject came up when my husband started talking about this girl he talks to at work who is younger, not married or dating anyone (I’m assuming this since he is supposedly trying to set her up with my brother) and he she lives in Indiana where he is conveniently going to visit next weekend for the Superbowl (with some guy friends).  Do I worry about my husband cheating..no, never……not at all…but as I sit at work, or lie in bed thinking about this whole scenario all I can think about is…other women who don’t have the life I do are going out to bars having a great time, “being awesome to hang out with” and looking like a million bucks. Why can’t that be me too, why can’t I be the best mom and wife I can be everyday and STILL show my husband I can have a good time and be the person he wanted to marry. Why can’t I be someone he wants to take to the Indianapolis? Am I that much of a dud to him now?

I know I have the capabilities to be the best mom and wife I just need to figure out how to do both at the same time…….and not be stressed that someone has it better than I do so that makes me a lesser person. I’ve been given so much in my life that I can’t imagine what I would do without. So I need to stop worrying about things like that, I KNOW…..but I think all women are like that to an extent…maybe I can start by not wearing my husbands boxers and socks to bed..ha J I know..HOTTIE..hahaha